


My Life in Letters

by Zairafuana



Series: Cemetery Sweethearts [9]
Category: NCIS: New Orleans
Genre: Chris tells Dwayne a piece of his past no one was ever supposed to know, Chris tells the girls how much they mean to him, Letters to loved ones, M/M, Protective Chris, Relationship Growth, Slight sexual relations, Sonja finds outs, family worries, mentioned past non-consensual drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-14 17:04:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8021992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zairafuana/pseuds/Zairafuana
Summary: A woman with a twisted soul is out to destroy the hard-earned peace in Chris' life and he knows that he must stop her. His choices are hindered as his relationship with Dwayne deepens closer to their souls kindling. In the end, what he must do may just get them both killed but he has to try.





	My Life in Letters

**Author's Note:**

> Bam! I'm back again! Ok, sorry. But really, I want to apologize for making this one M. My life has been very stressful and that resulted in a bit of self-indulgent smuff (it's what I call fluffy smut), it relaxes me (i'm sorry). It'll only last the (stupidly long) first section if you want to pass over my crappy writing to the rest of the story (sorry again).
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of comtemplated suicide. Semi-graphic explaination of past non-consensual drug torture (Note: I have no experience with drugs, everything I write is based off things I've heard or read). Chris is still a little messed up mentally from his breakdown so his reasoning's kinda skewed still.
> 
> Disclaimer: I only own what isn't canon. Mama Takuka and her horrible past with Chris is all mine.

_**Day 10** _

Chris' brain felt like a jumbled mess. Within his mind was a quickly growing world of secrets. His heart ached as the lies were breaking his promise to Dwayne. They were supposed to tell each other everything. Though, how could he ever tell Dwayne the truth and drag him into Takuka's hell? He loved the man too much to do that to him. Was it not best to lose his love with lies rather than lose all of him to Takuka's wrath?

Chris was pulled from his fractured thoughts as a whimper of pleasure was pulled from him. He gasped softly as he quivered pitifully on his boyfriend's lap. He could feel his spine being lovingly stroked through his shirt as Dwayne tenderly kissed his throat.

"You awlright, Chris?" The question was so sweet, so loving. Chris slowly blinked his eyes open, mind hazed over in bliss. His skin felt like it was on fire in all the right ways and they were not even touching skin to skin besides the kisses. Dwayne had devised this plan to help them get used to more intimate situations. Which was how Chris ended up straddling Dwayne's lap this morning.

Chris nodded weakly, unable to speak. He swallowed thickly and panted softly, finding it hard to keep eye contact with Dwayne. He just wanted to slump against his love and soak up all the pleasure. It felt so strange to not be the one in control of the intimate situation yet he did not feel threatened in being submissive somehow since it was Dwayne who was leading.

He was kissed tenderly and he felt himself melting. His hips jerked slightly but Dwayne's strong hand on his pelvis gently stilled him, leaving him hot and flustered.

"Shh... Not today, Chris. Just relax, you can do this." Chris scrunched his eyes tighter at the denial but nodded shakily. He knew if he lost control now they would probably end up in bed and regret it because they were not ready. Even though Dwayne's touches were confident and concise, Chris could tell he was still uneasy touching the younger agent in a sexual fashion. They had to get through this step before they could get to the next. Despite this, Chris craved to have sexual relations with the man he loved. He was running away today to hunt the devil and what if he did not make it back to the elder agent.

"D-dwayne, please..." Chris begged softly as hid his nose in the crook of his boyfriend's neck, licking the skin there desperately. He was highly aroused and his skin was over sensitized, it would not take much to finish and he craved for his love's touch.

"Ah can't yet, Christopher. Not how you need." Chris sobbed hoarsely at the reply, his body shuddering as he desperately tried to keep his hips still for Dwayne. His strong hands shakily clung to Dwayne's shoulders as he tried to relax himself. His abdominal muscles clenched, the heat pooling deep in his belly nearly unbareable.

He whimpered weakly as he felt strong arms embrace him, a loving kiss pressed to his ear. He squirmed but leaned into the affection, craving it. His thighs quivered with the effort to keep himself from moving against his love.

"Awlright, Chris, but you have to do something for me." Dwayne whispered softly as he raised Chris' chin. The younger man slowly opened his eyes and stared at the older for a few moments, confused. He flushed and smiled shyly once realization came, love shimmering in his dazed eyes.

"A-anything for you, K-king." Chris could barely speak the whisper. He swallowed convulsively, trying to relax and failed.

"Ah need you to keep eye contact. Ah need to be sure you're actually enjoyin' it and not jus' needy." Chris quickly nodded at the demand, unable to speak again. A moan barely escaped as he was kissed passionately. His eyes grew hazy with pleasure and he fought the urge to close them, only barely keeping them open. He shivered with pleasure as he felt Dwayne's hands rest on his thighs. The confident hands gently stroked up the strong muscles over his sweatpants to his hips. Chris' narrow hips were gripped securely and lovingly rubbed before the waistband of both his sweatpants and boxers were pushed down enough to expose his hips.

Chris was finding it more difficult with each passing second to maintain eye contact as he breathlessly panted into the kiss. He could not think, the pleasure of every light touch was erasing all thought. Dwayne was barely doing anything and it had already cut off higher brain functions. Chris barely had enough mind left to kiss back, mewling sweetly as the kiss finally broke. He tiredly rested his forehead against Dwayne's as they both panted hard.

Chris went crosseyed as Dwayne's hands slipped under his shirt and touched his skin for the first time today. One hand was massaging a slim hip as the other stroked up his flank and over his ribs. His hips bucked desperately and Dwayne gently soothed him. Chris needily pressed himself against his boyfriend, babbling and begging with Dwayne's name. He had never been so jealous of someone as he was of Linda right now, she had been given this treatment of passion for decades!

"Ah love ya, K-king." Chris barely got the words out, forcing them past the haze in his brain.

"Ah know you do, Christopher. Thank you, you can close your eyes now." Dwayne blinked deeply dilated eyes and nuzzled his nose to Chris'. He ignored his own arousal as he watched his young love's eyes slip closed as the younger man simply basked in the pleasure. Dwayne smiled softly and dipped his head, kissing a soft bruise into Chris' throat as he lovingly touched his younger lover. He gently stroked over the younger man's strong chest, massaging hard muscle, as his other hand trailed from Chris' hip down to his thigh. He skimmed his fingers over his love's quivering inner thigh. He smiled with loving satisfaction as Chris finaly arched up and cried out with that single stroke.

Dwayne kissed Chris' cheek and held him close as the younger man slumped against him. The younger agent was gasping and mewling pitifully in pleasure, lost in the haze of climax. Dwayne hummed soothingly and stroked his back, quite pleased with the younger man's reaction.

"Feel'n better, Love?" Dwayne nuzzled Chris' hair as his young boyfriend shakily nodded, unable to verbally reply, "Good, jus' rest." Chris let out a confused sound at this and pressed a shaky palm to Dwayne's lower abdomen questioningly. The older agently just chuckled softly and shook his head.

"Ah'm alright, Chris. You just rest then we'll get you in a nice hot shower." Dwayne gently took Chris' hand and linked fingers with it. He tenderly kissed his partner, humming happily. Work could wait.

_**~*~NCIS~*~** _

Chris took slow, calming breathes as he leaned on the bathroom counter. He stared himself in the face and tried to forcibly erase the haunted look in his eyes. He had played it off with Dwayne by saying he was appalled by what he had almost done two nights ago. That was true but it did not haunt him like this. Luckily, Chris could be a good liar when a life depended on it and this time that life was Dwayne's. He could not tell his best friend that he was willingly walking back into Hell to save him.

Mind set, Chris reached up and removed the bandage from his head and checked the small wound. He hissed in pain as he repositioned his hair as best he could to hide the wound. That task finished, he went about removing the badages from his hands. Frowning at the cuts that would surely scar his palms. He clenched his fists and threw the bandages away. He could not let himself appear weak in front of the Voodoo queen when he found her.

He was walking willingly into a bad situation blind and it had him nervous. Despite this, he could not involve the team. Takuka had a massive opporation last time and there had been no way of tracking it. He was betting on her obsession to keep the focus on himself. The team would solve the case from other angles if he could get her out of the way. Drugs needed to come from somewhere and that is where he knew Dwayne would stop her as long as Chris kept her away from the puppet strings.

He straightened up and grabbed the envelopes he had on the counter. He swallowed hard as he stepped into Dwayne's bedroom. His heart ached, he felt like he was betraying Dwayne. Maybe he was, he was about to go play hanky panky with a witch after all. Though, it was for Dwayne's own good, right?

He shook his head, disgusted with himself. His best friend had given him a wonderful gift this morning, a gift he could not repay yet, and this was pretty much throwing it back in his face. Chris had been right about himself the day before, he did not deserve Dwayne's devotion. Perhaps one day he could beg his way back into the man's good graces if he made it out of this.

He swallowed back the guilt and bile as he quickly headed down the stairs. The others had left about an hour ago and Patten had found vague clues on Takuka's location. Chris wrote down all the clues when he got to his desk. He set the letters in the envelopes down with his phone before going into his desk to grab his badge and backup gun. He shakily tucked the holster into its usual place and cast one last longing glance at Dwayne's desk before stepping out of his second home and headed towards his impending Hell.

**~*~NCIS~*~**

It was late afternoon when Sonja tiredly trugged into the office. Day three of no LaSalle was leaving her and Brody exhausted, Pride still had to be careful due to his wound. She was just about set for the weekend and it was only Tuesday!

She stretched a kink in her spine as she headed for her desk. To her side, a blinking light caught her eye. She turned towards LaSalle's desk and frowned at the sight of his phone sitting there innocently. She was about to call out for the other agent when something made her stop.

The placement of the phone was too perfect. It had been set there purposefully to draw attention to the letters under it. Panic set in, there was four letters each with a different name. She could see a letter addressed to herself, Brody, Pride, and finally Cade.

Sonja swallowed thickly and quickly snatched up the one addressed to her. She stared at it for a moment, inspecting it. It certainly had LaSalle's handwriting. But why had he written her a letter? Curiosity won her over and she ripped the envelope open then began to read.

_-Dear Sonja,_

_I just wanted to say I was sorry. I owe you an explaination as to why I have been acting so strangely the past week or so. I was going to wait until the end of the month and tell you with everyone else but I'm about to go do something really stupid and I might not make it back._

_So. Here goes. King and I have been dating for the past 10 days (10 days, 10 years, same difference, right, Sister?). Only Doc Wade and Brody know, oh, and Laurel of course. Now, don' you go and feel left out now. Laurel got to know because she walked in on me and King makin' out. Then again, so did Brody. That was an awkward day..._ \- Sonja snorted softly in laughter as she read the sentence over again before continuing.

_-Doc Wade was the only one actually told because Dwayne needed someone to talk to about the whole situation. Anyway, that's the only reason you were never told. Please don't be hurt, Sonja. I love you like a sister and I wish only the best for you on the team. If I don't make it back, please keep an eye on everyone for me. I'm real glad you joined the family._

_Now, moving past that part. The reason I have missed work is because a few days ago I told my ma that Dwayne and I were dating. It did not go well. Long story short, my heart shattered and I went a little crazy. I had a little drunken breakdown and tried to shoot myself. Cade and Dwayne saved my life and have been fixing me the past few days._

_Now, please don't think this is a suicide note. It's not supposed to be. I don't think I'm suicidal anymore but I'm not sure considering what I'm about to do. Just know, what I do now I do to protect you all. Please take care, Sonja. ~Love, Chris -_

Sonja stood there in shock just staring down in horror at what she had just read. Tears splattered down onto the page, warping the ink. Her heart hurt and panic clawed at her mind yet she felt herself unable to do anything.

"Hey, Percy, you alright?" Brody called in worry as she and Pride returned. Sonja slowly shook her head. She found herself uncaring as she uncharacteristically threw herself into Pride's arms as the two neared. She clung to her fatherly boss and sobbed against his chest as she gave her letter to Brody.

Pride held and gently soothed his newest agent as he shot a searching look to Brody. The older woman was shaking slightly, unable to calm herself. Pride was about to ask when Percy spoke up.

"There's one for each of you on the desk, beside his phone." Brody quickly fetched them. She handed Pride his before opening her own. Her letter was much like Percy's, it was full of explainations, gratitude, well wishes, and sibling-like love. It made her heart ache in worry but also left her feeling loved.

Dwayne hesitently opened his letter after staring at the heart drawn next to his name for a few minutes. He feared what was in the letter yet could not hide from it.

_-Dear Dwayne,_

_I want to thank you for everything. I would never have made it all these years without you. I don't think I can express how much you mean to me. I hope 'I love you' covers it because I love you more than New Orleans, more than life itself. I am so sorry for hurting you, I never wanted that. Never wanted you to be hurt, that's why I left. I'm a danger to you._

_I cracked the case, King. I was the answer all along. Everything that has happened the last 10 days is because of me, even the attacks on you. So, here goes, no more lies._

_It all started like a year before I met you on that rescue. I was undercover to catch a drug lord. Turns out it was actually a drug queen that's a Voodoo witch by the name of Mama Takuka. Don't bother looking for information on her, you won't find anything. Anyways, I was found out and she felt betrayed. Turns out she had become quite attached to me. Feeling I turned on her once she found out the truth, she lashed out and I got aquinted with her liquid Hell._

_King, the drug was some sort of god-awful concoction of street drugs and Voodoo toxins. I thought I was in Hell the second that sadistically addictive nightmare was injected into my bloodstream. Oh god, Dwayne, I can still feel it call to me after all these years. Thank god no other drug will work. Sorry, moving on. Two weeks, she had me for two weeks with four injections each day. God, in the end I don't know what I begged for more: death or more drugs. I felt like I was being eaten alive from the inside out, thought I was dying but could not pass over yet the craving for more was unending._

_I only survived because the NOPD rescued me. They busted the drug ring but Mama got away. I was the only one that could identify her, and only if she wore her outfit, but I was too gone when they found me to give a description. They took me to the hospital, they told me I was beaten as well as drugged. I have no memory of it now, so I can't be sure. I had no coherent thought in my head by that point. That drug was my everything, heaven and Hell. I was kept for a month while I went through withdrawl. It lasted the entire month so I was told. I don't remember, the agony had been so horrific that my mind locked away the memories until yesterday._

_That's all history now. The thing you need to know is that she is back. She still wants me, she killed that girl specifically because she looked like Savannah; a woman I loved. Then you were attacked, she knew I wanted you even before I did, she had always been that good._

_That's where I've gone, to stop her. I won't let her hurt you again if I can help it. She ruined my life once, I won't let her take yours. I can't lose you, Dwayne. I love you, I'll never be able to express how much. Please don't look for me. I'll keep her busy. Please, stop her opportation for good from the other side. Take care of the girls. Love you all. ~ Always yours, Christopher-_

Dwayne's heart felt like it had stopped, he could not breathe. His best friend, the man he loved the most, had just left on a suicide mission. He needed to fix this, he could not let Chris go through that again.

"Brody, Chris has run. I want a BOLO on him. Now!" The letter was crushed in his quivering fist as he snapped the command. Horror and panic grasped his soul. He could not lose Chris, not like this. Please, God, not to that witch.

_**~*~End~*~** _


End file.
